It is hour nine of a twelve-hour night shift. A pump trips. The board lights up. The radio is busy. Somewhere a supervisor wants an update, and at home a kid is sick. A lot of it is out of your hands. Some of it is very much in them.
People have been thinking about moments like that for a long time. One of the most practical answers comes from a group of ancient philosophers called the Stoics.
Two unlikely teachers
The two Stoics people still read most could hardly have had different lives.
Epictetus was born a slave in the first century, probably in Hierapolis, in what is now Turkey. He was later freed and became a teacher. He wrote nothing himself; a student named Arrian wrote down his lessons. A short handbook of them, the Enchiridion, has been read for nearly two thousand years.
Marcus Aurelius was the emperor of Rome in the second century. He spent much of his reign at war on the empire's northern border. At night he wrote private notes to himself, in Greek, never meant to be published. We call them the Meditations.
A slave and an emperor. Both came to the same core idea.
The one big idea
The Enchiridion opens with it. Some things are up to us, and some things are not.
Up to us: what we judge, what we choose, what we aim for, how we act. Not up to us: our bodies, our property, what other people think of us, the positions we hold, and most of what happens in the world.
Epictetus said most of our misery comes from mixing up the two. We tie our peace of mind to things we cannot control, then suffer when they go the way they were always free to go.
Marcus wrote the same lesson to himself in a hundred ways. You will meet rude people today, he told himself. Expect it. Their rudeness is theirs. How you respond is yours.
On the unit
Bring it back to the pump that tripped.
Not up to you: that it tripped. The weather. The supervisor's mood. Whether the turnaround runs long. Whether the company has a good quarter.
Up to you: whether you follow the procedure. Whether you slow down enough to do it right. Whether you call out something that looks wrong. Whether you check on the new hire. Whether you snap at the person on the radio or stay steady.
This is where the Stoic idea is easy to get wrong. It does not mean "keep quiet and take it." Speaking up about a hazard is exactly the kind of thing that is up to you. Using your stop-work authority is up to you. Reporting a near miss is up to you. A Stoic on the unit is not the one who swallows a problem. It is the one who puts their energy where it can change something, and lets the rest go.
At home
The same split works when you get home.
You cannot control whether the shift schedule lines up with your kid's game. You can control whether you call, whether you watch the video, whether you show up for the next one. You cannot control what someone posted about you. You can control whether you answer it.
The Stoics also practiced something that sounds dark but is not. Each morning, they thought briefly about what could go wrong that day. Not to worry, but to be ready, and to be grateful for what they had while they had it. Marcus reminded himself often that life is short and everything changes. That made the people in front of him more precious, not less.
What it is not
Stoicism is not about having no feelings. The Stoics knew everyone feels the first jolt of fear, grief or anger. Their aim was to keep those feelings from making the decisions. And it is not a replacement for help. If stress, sleep or mood are wearing you down, talking to a doctor, a counselor or someone you trust is one of the things that is up to you.
A practice to try
At the start of your next shift, take one minute. Say to yourself: "Here is what I control today." Name three things. At the end of the shift, ask: "Did I put my effort there?"
It is an old practice. A former slave taught it, and an emperor kept it. It fits in a hard hat just fine.
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Sources
- Epictetus, Enchiridion (the Handbook), compiled by Arrian, second century; opening section on what is and is not up to us.
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, written in Greek during his reign (161 to 180).